absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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