Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize