Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wear drunk well.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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