the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize