so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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