That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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