I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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