why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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