she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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