so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
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I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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