dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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