Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize