We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Small penises have feelings too.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize