Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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