dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize