My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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