Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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