I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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