Your face is a jimmy john
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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