when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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