you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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