Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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