Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize