just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize