not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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