yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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