dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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