It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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