I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize