So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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