soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
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