Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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