She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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