I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize