She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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