some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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