if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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