I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize