you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize