if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize