I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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