im six kinds of drunk right now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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