I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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