playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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