Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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