I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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