All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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