I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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