I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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