In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize